Money Honey.

A couple weeks ago while putting away the money in the cash tills at work, I had a sweet like honey epiphany...

That Money is in Fact Paper (OK, actually according to the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing, our paper money is more a blend of Linen, Wood Pulp and Cotton. You’re Welcome for the info😉)  and we as Humans assign value to it and also our preconceived ideas too.

Before you think I have lost my mind by stating the obvious. Stay with me. I promise their is a point to all of this 💰 talk. Over the last few years personally, I’ve been trying to change my own ideas about money from Negative to Neutral even striving for positive:)

Digging deep into my empty money mindset pockets to understand why I have little and others have zillions. It’s been a interesting study to say the least. Fascinating, challenging and healing endeavor as I pour over new concepts and ideas like I’ve found via Jen Sincero’s book, You are a BadAss at Making Money or even recently from my dear friend Kendra sharing her own enlightening shifts towards Monetary Abundance.

Now after these two years of consciously getting real with myself and my money challenges. I’m excited to share with you and also a little reminder to myself on how far I’ve come and the work I still need to do. As you read forward: All I ask is you too keep a open mind, stay curious with new money mindsets and above all be kind if you see parts of yourself in my own money story:) Some of it can be pretty vulnerable, but I’m all about Embracing, Learning and Growing even in my 40’s  when often society says we should have our financial shit together.

Now your Turn. Grab a notebook and a pen. I’m sharing some questions I’ve asked myself over the last couple of years and currently. *I created even a ‘Money Honey’ Journal where all my notes live. 

What’s Money to you? Write whatever comes to mind and then maybe highlight the thoughts that trigger emotion. This exercise was so interesting to me and opened me up to so many preconceived ideas I’ve been carrying around $$.

A Penny for your Parents Thoughts

It all begins when we’re little people. Our Parents and even Grandparents teach us our first Money stories. It’s either a healthy legacy or a skewed one like my own story. Yes, they’re a few positive take-a-ways I myself still carry. but overall what I’ve learned was most of these mighty dollar lessons were really a one way ticket to the bank of disfunction junction. Reflection I found has been key to amend that history. Here goes:

Growing up I remember loving staying home “sick” from school all cozied up on the couch watching morning game shows. It was the early 80’s and Game Shows littered the morning channels like trash on the freeway. My favorites were Price is Right (Duh), but Sale of the Century was my ultimate jam.  

I loved seeing Adults being excited about winning awesome prizes and the chances to choose the big prize! A clear plastic briefcase full of money:) It was a far cry from my own Parents concept of money in our household. 

My Mom was the Money Rebel. She herself grew up the youngest of five kids to Parents that lived through the Great Depression. So, their own money ideas were of scarcity and a hoarding money mentality. Growing up with that lack of idea she went the opposite on the spectrum. As a Adult craving the finer things on a middle class budget. She would spend and hide it the best she could from my Dad. It unintentionally was a game for her, to spend on things she loved without my Dad finding out. He always did somehow though.

I also was her little partner in crime on these shopping excursions and learning that spending was secretive. And a lot of that spending was for me and I remembering feeling guilt for that though her intentions were good as She never wanted me to be without the things she had not received as a child. 

My Dad on the other hand was the Money Inforcer. He would use shame and control tactics on my Mom often. He still tries it with me, Calling me ‘Little Linda’ after my Mom when I “f*#k” up in his opinion. But, the ironic fact about his tactics. It was ok for him to splurge on himself or even me because he was the breadwinner.  

So, as you can see, I grew up with a weird guilt about money watching they’re adult drama play out and I still carry it with me. My Parents despite they’re own challenges always were so giving to me and Money often was a currency of love.  That love currency I’ll leave for therapy😜. 

This is all money childhood stuff I’m still currently working on while getting specific with creating my own new foundations of a financial legacy. I’m learning to amend my monetary history while also acknowledging I can’t rewrite it. But I can correct and learn from it. Ultimately trashing the lessons that aren't serving me now and focusing on the concepts that do. 

Now your Turn. What did your Parents or Family teach you about Money? Positive, Nuetral or Negative? How can you amend your monetary history to serve you better going forward?  

More than a Financial Portfolio 

Our relationship to Money as I shared in my own Money beginnings is definitely more than a boring financial portfolio. It has a lot of feels, learned thoughts and behaviors that actually go beyond some cash issues. My own adult broke ass story has often been filled with fear, what ifs and worry. It’s a scary story to be in and I know now I need to do some major self-fixing and uncovering better ways to view and live with money going forward. Changing old patterns and ideas. Acknowledging that I am tired of the inconsistency and dreaming of someone or thing to swoop in and fix it for me. 

When I first began doing the mental money work, resistance came in like a phantom in the night:) These past two years have been a challenge to say the least. Old habits are hard to die. But, yesterday I heard a quote from the new Mary Poppins Movie that gave me a good reminder. “Everything is possible even the impossible.” Money included. 

 A year ago when I filed Banruptcy, the kind I pay every month my past debt. I never would of imagined that I would of felt that kind of freedom again as a single person. It seemed like the impossible, but it did become possible.

Yes, I’ve had some small and medium sized set backs and still daily reminders to myself that no one is going to save me (like my ex-husband did) but me. But, also knowing their is help and guidance out there and it never hurts to ask. We’re never alone in this life and even when money is involved.  Whatever your Money mistakes are or have been you too can move to the light. Even if it’s just sparkly pennies in your financial portfolio in the beginning.  

Now your Turn. What our the true feels you have with money right now? Bleak, Fine or Abundant? Do you have any Resistance to old Money Habits you need to change? Mistakes that keep showing up? Any little Sparkly Penny steps you can make now? 

  

Happy Money Thoughts

Ok, This is the fun part. This why I’m writing this post. I actually now enjoy thinking of money and even writing about it😊. It’s like when my friends talk about what they would do if they would win the lottery. Their faces light up and their eyes sparkle with the endless possibilities that imagined wealth could bring and It’s fun too.

But, most of my life it wasn’t. Like Money, even talking about the lottery stressed me out. I usually would sit back and listen as my buddies would go off into La La lotto land. Thinking to myself, “Oh that sounds nice and all, but I never win anything anyway and I don’t even play the lottery.”

I’d even have snarky thoughts like, “People actually don’t deserve that money, they didn’t work hard for it and it’s actually kind of tacky.”

If I did allow myself for a second to contemplate this ‘frivolous’ idea... I’d had ideas like, “I want my wealth to be Sophisticated kind of well to-do, a hard working money making endeavor not some Holding a Big Ass Check in between the 6 o’clock news kind of gross KLA$$Y get rich quick story”.

And that’s probably why I’m stoically poor😂 with that kind of Money Mindset attitude. Shutting that Happy Money shit down quick while being a arrogant a-hole to boot. 

While recently re-reading You are Badass with Money again for the third time, it’s finally sinking in on how my limiting, downright negative thoughts do limit my money mojo. Don’t worry I’m not gonna go blow my next paychecks on Lotto tickets with this recent epiphany, but I’m loving replacing those tired old ugly misconceptions of money with much happier thoughts. 

Now your Turn. What would you do if you won the Lottery? What are your negative misconceptions of Money? How can you transform them to Happy Thoughts?  

Radio Abundance 

Money is Energy. My dear friend Kendra recently said this to me, who happens to also now be my Money Mentor:) She is such amazing, loving wise soul that came back into my life recently sharing her own enlightened financial shift with starting a new business adventure that has transformed her own well-being and wealth.

When I got real with Kendra about how my own Money story is currently, she jumped to the sharing is caring attitude. Explaining how once she     realized that Money is Energy and changed her own currency thoughts on it. Her own ‘Radio’ frequency of Abundance changed for her and her family.

At first, my initial thoughts went to, “Oh lawd not Law Of Attraction or The Secret again😂- you just think it and it will appear instantly like that awesome perfect parking spot at Target.” But, instead she gave me concrete numbers and what she did to really make it happen.

And it’s more than just our conscious thoughts on Money like I mentioned in the beginning. You gotta go deep into the preconceived ideas we’ve grown up with and challenge that old man money mindset to tap into what we both now call Radio Abundance:) 

We all our made of energy. This is scientifically proven and when it comes to our thoughts they too our energy that manifests into action. So, when your always thinking about Money like I have  most my life, “I’m broke. Money sucks. Rich people are luckier than me...” that becomes your story. But, if you think instead, “I’m so adundant, Money is lovely. Rich people are no different than I am.” Your Money thought frequency shifts.

It might not mean you wake up with a wad of cash under your pillow tonight and if you do... I’d call the police. That’s weird🤪. But, your Money dialogue definitely is far more open to positive inner discussion and actionable abundance ideas.  

Now your Turn. What are your thoughts on Money as Energy? Do you have a Money Mentor? Someone that uplifts and inspires you to look beyond your limiting monetary beliefs? What currently is your Radio Abundance frequency at? Negative or positive? Do you have any Actionable Abundance ideas?  

Money Mantra

I read about creating one in You are a Badass at Making Money awhile back (get the book). But, at the time the idea of it floated over my head as certain ideas do when your quite not ready for them in that very moment. We’ve all had that happen... something just doesn’t click until the right timing appears.

My Money Mantra time finally showed up as Kendra shared excitededly about how it was her numero uno success shift for changing her own money mindset and approach to abundance.  

So, here’s the Gist: I wrote my first Money Mantra using Kendra’s one as a guide. Where she got super Specific even down to $$$ and staying Present Tense as if she had the Money Now, which actually she does at this moment:) She also chose her words very wisely. Staying away from Lack of limiting words like, I wish, I want, I need and I can’t with I have, I create and I love. 

Kendra’s Money Mantra was very detailed and at the end even stated affirmations to repeat as often as necessary. I used a few of them myself including one that I found I resisted big time that I now embrace wholeheartedly. But, overall the Money Mantra is a clear way to get real with what kind of abundance you are open too and actionable steps to get there.

I finally did a 2nd Draft based also off the ideas featured in Jen’s book.  It began with a fun ‘what if’ exercise of what my ideal day is if Money was no object and then I broke that down even further into my own Money Mantra revised.

Now I read it every morning. It definitely has shifted my own money mindset into a more positive, affirming way that creates excitement and confidence despite my current circumstances. Anything for peace of mind, Right?!?! 

Now your Turn. What would your ideal life be if you had the Money now? Write down a page of What if’s and Create from that your own Money Mantra. Remember to be specific, present tense and choose your words wisely. And what could be a few affirmations that you could use throughout the day to reframe any negative thoughts that pop up?  

Luxury Redefined

As I mentioned above I had some major resistance to one of the Affirmations I had borrowed from Kendra when creating my first Money Mantra which was, “I Live Luxuriously”.

The word Luxury instantly repulsed me, conjuring up negative beliefs like Gross, Excess and Tacky abuse of Wealth. I hated to read it or worse say it.  

So, when Kendra and I chatted the next time. I brought it up and without hesitation she explained that Luxury isn’t all about owning a private jet😀It’s about finding your own ideas of luxury (Big or Small) and not letting others examples or your former personal judgements cloud your Luxury meter. 

Soon after redefining this belief with Kendra, I came across some perfect examples of what fed this negative luxury idea in the first place. It was so interesting to investigate and reflect with a much more open money mindset.

Being 44 and growing up in 80’s there were definitely some decadent luxury living going on with the likes of millionaire moguls like Donald Trump and even a example that hit closer to home.

The TV Evangelist Jim Bakker (who ended up being my Dads Inmate at his work for the Federal Prison in my hometown of Rochester, MN.) and his wife Tammy Faye. They're gross misuse of church funds and living lavishingly under the guise of God’s Blessing of money. Left a major bad taste in my mouth about Wealth, Luxury and abuse of Mascara (Google Tammy Faye and Mascara if your unaware😂). 

Yes, some of us might want a air-conditioned dog house for they’re pets like the Bakkers or a private jet a la Kardashian’s and even maybe a closet full of Juicy Couture Track suits for someone else. But, I’m not here to judge anymore. Instead Re-writing what true Luxury is for me. 

My Luxury meter is all about going to the bookstore and affording the titles I’ve been dying to read and marking them up with lovely notes. Or a cup full of G-2 Pilot Pens in Bold. Being able to buy Dinner for a friend or not worrying about having to choose between gas or food.  

This kind of Simple Luxury brings joy, excitement and possibility to my heart. Honestly a reminder, if  doing all of this Money Mindset Reset is just for this shift change. It’s been totally worth it.   

Now your Turn. What’s some of your misconceptions of Luxury? How can you redefine them and enjoy a happy, healthy view of personal Luxury that fits You?  

Want more?

This post/essay actually has been one of my all-time faves to write and research. I’m surprised as you are that Me, Myself & I love talking about Money so much🤩 now and I hope it sparks a little fire of cash convo in you too.

Do you want more? Here goes:

Read:

You are a Badass at Making Money: Mastering the Mindset of Wealth. Your probably sick of me mentioning it or your ordering a copy for yourself on Amazon right now. Do the latter and thank me later;) *And No I’m not getting a kick back😜 for mentioning it so much:) But, it’s just that good as well as Jen Sincero’s first Badass Book, You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. 

Jen’s Funny as Shit, honest and One of us trying and doing self-helpery work to be our Best Versions. She breaks things down in a way that makes it enlightening, refreshing and possible.  

I even thought recently about how awesome it would be to go to one her book signings and hand this baby over to her to sign.  But, as I played this little scenario around in my head as I flipped through the well-loved pages and admiring the work/notes I’ve done. I realized in that moment for the first time my copy is already signed! Whoa! Reminding me once again that we all have this money mojo in us and we just need tools like this to remember it:) So, get it and do the work:) 

And Find Your Money Mentor: 

Someone you Trust and Admire to inspire you to look beyond your pre-conceived ideas of the $$. A friend that builds you up and has done the Work before you.

My Friend and Money Mentor Kendra has been such a blessing and continues to be even outside the realms of $$. Check her out for yourself on the gram @kendramarable Artist+Chef+Visionary and much more♥️. 

Make Money Knowledge your Amigo: 

Especially as Women.. Money Talk historically was reserved for the opposite sex not us so much. I know in my childhood I got that misinformation often that Money was a unladylike topic of conversation. Not anymore and while on this Money Journey of Love, I’ve decided to make it my business and enjoy it too.

A fabulous resource for me has been Makers which is a Media Brand I follow on the gram that ‘exists to accelerate the women’s movement through stories of real-life experiences that ignite passion and action’.

Including Real Money Myth Busting Talk and Empowerment via Makers Money Series. Leaving me wonder despite my limited Math skills I should of maybe gone into Finance:) It’s been a game changer for me hanging out with these Money Amigos of ideas and insights. 

So, What’s Next for You and I? 

I personally am enjoying the Money Mindset Reset Ride. I’m showing up and working. I’m creating and Making Wind Chimes of Pennies😜 J/K, but I did take some pretty pictures of Pennies to showcase here;) But, most importantly thinking of money with love not contempt anymore. Visualizing and meditating on a more abundant life. So, when those old $$ ideas come swinging in  with a their heavy weight punch. I’m now ready to knock them it out with a affirmation and a new spark of possibility. Yes, I’m not yet rolling in the dough, but now I’m sure as heck open to the possibility of it. That in itself is priceless:) 

Now I want you to go find your own Money Possibilities. Keep me posted.   

Love, C.  

Dedicate/Day 16. Dulce.

01/21/2019 Evening

On the Mat: 23 minutes.

Observations: Breathing Deep. Remembering that we can take care of ourselves. And there is sweet power in that. This practice today was quiet movements and part massage. It helped me to quiet the storm in my head. 

Insights: When we are sweet to ourselves, we can be sweet to others. 

This practice touched me very deeply reminding me of my Mother. She always called me her sweet girl. Now that she is gone I forget those sweet parts of myself that her love brought out in me. Actually over the weekend as I was having a hard time. I had a dream about her. In the dream we talked as if she was still here. It was so real, I woke up crying because I realized she wasn't here in my waking life. But, doing this practice tonight made me realize that she is somehow through me as I am Her sweet little legacy that she invested so much love in:)  

But, I’ll Take Today: Any Sweetness I can find:) 

Tomorrow:  Day 17 Learn. 

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 15. Reveal.

01/21/2019 Midday

On the Mat: 17 minutes.

Observations: I missed another day. Life has showed up with challenges I knew would come back. But, I also came back to Dedicate today to somehow to make sense of it all. My Body was rested. I went through the movements revealing my own method. Realizing that a home practice of yoga truly gives you permission to truly Find what Feels Good on the Mat. 

Insights: I’m half-way through this journey. Yes, the days have gotten jumbled or I’ve done catch up. But, a reminder it’s my Journey and I’ve showed up to the Mat 15 times. Woo-Hoo. I’ve experienced so much and learning to go beyond expectations. Love, lean in and Let Go. Let my heart be the compass not how my jeans fit. That’s hard, but I’m glad that lesson is being revealed to me. 

But, I’ll Take Today: Sweet Double Feature Tonight-Dulce. 

Tonight: Day 16. Dulce.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 14. Grace.

01/19/2019 Saturday

On the Mat: 20 minutes.

Observations: My feet ached. My underwear is uncomfortable and my overall mood let’s just say isn’t ideal. It’s been cold up in these parts and after two days of not showing up on the Mat due to my schedule and life shit. I did. I needed it. Man ,I need this practice. My body needs it and God knows my mind does even more. it truly has made such a difference in such a short time. 

Insights: This practice is definitely helping me navigate more Gracefully through the inner reactive roar of negative self-talk that often shows up in my head . 

But, I’ll Take Today: the Grace that came to the Mat. A mess, relunctant and even a little irritated. But, I came. 

Tomorrow: Day 15. Reveal.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 13. Space.

On the Mat: 21 minutes.

Observations: This was my favorite thus far! I rocked it. I did awesome and Whoa I have amazing leg strength. No qualms saying it👍. Was it a challenge? Yes. But, I awesomely did it! ⭐️ Gold Star to me. 

Insights: Space. Adriene was gracious with the insight. We must create space for new possibilities and this practice is expanding me to do just that. I honestly am shocked I’ve made this far. But, I’m here in this SPACE of discovery and new possibility. I’m open to the SPACE it is creating by doing and where it leads me. 

But, I’ll Take Today: Prep and Making SPACE for the next two days of challenges. Focusing not on my current limitations, but how I’m investing in this journey. See you tomorrow. 

Tomorrow: Day 14. Grace.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 12. Curate.

On the Mat: 20 minutes.

Observations: Yesterday I was exhausted and with my work schedule I didn’t show up, but today I did. The flexiablity did also, I could actually touch the ground. Yes, the end move was awkward and my body wasn’t ready. Maybe someday, in the meantime it’s I did what felt good:) 

Insights: Big One! We are the curators of our own lives. It’s our deal and knowone else’s:)

And our Mind sometimes want to quit before our bodies do. Good Good Stuff. Completely Aligning with another project I’m doing right now which I will eventually share with you guys:) 

But, I’ll Take Today: I reenergized and ready to work on space tonight after a Topo Chico:)   

Tonight: Day 13. Space.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 11. Courage.

On the Mat: 23 minutes and Yoga for Beginners (YWA) 41 minutes. 

Observations: Balance came and went😂. It’s interesting how one side of the body can be more flexible than the other. Yeah, today their was a posture I didn’t even attempt😜 and totally cool with that. 

Insights: Courage to show up when all over IG I saw this crazy posture everyone was doing and it was way intimidating and I was thinking what the hell did I get myself into🤪 But, this is a big reminder this is my story and I’m not here to show off, but show up. And I love how Adriene encourages that humble heart too. 

But, I’ll Take Today: Another add-on Beginners Practice with Adriene  HERE. Will be doing this another time this week for sure. Now off to work.

Tomorrow: Day 12. Curate.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 10. Expand.

On the Mat: 25 minutes. + yoga for complete Beginners by Adriene 20 Minutes. 

Observations:  Yea! 10 days on the Mat. I wish I could say something profound happened. Heck that’s what’s profound😜 10 days in the book. Yes, I’m still learning. Yes, I’m still awkward, but also I have moments of grace. I’m loving the calm that’s inhabiting my body and spilling out unto my everyday as well. Today’s practice was all about expanding. I pushed my breath in and out. It felt so lovely. And I found my balance expanding again as with my flexibility. 

Insights: Expand and Oooh Its my One Little Word for the Year too and I was waiting for that word to find me this year and while I was meditating before beginning today’s practice. I thought of how I can expand in my life. Expand beyond old beliefs. Expand beyond expectations and even possibilities. Definitely a word I can grow with in 2019:) and I’m sure this yoga journey can help with that. 

But, I’ll Take Today: I also decided to dig a little deeper into the basics of yoga and added this 20 minute Yoga for Complete Beginners from Adriene today and plan this week doing few other Beginner Foundation ones this week with the 30 Day Journey. I will post them here as well. It really helped to fine tune my postures and understand deeper the poses. 

Tomorrow: Day 11. Courage.

Ten Day Reflect:  When I started this yoga journey I had no expectations and still actually don’t. I began with a might as well and I’m gonna continue with it:) It’s working thus far more than I ever imagined.  Other Side Effects: Better Sleep. Improved mood and patience with myself and others. More Energy and I glide like a gazelle😜 

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 9. Divine.

On the Mat: 25 minutes.

Observations: Downward Dog is in the books now. No Modification necessary any longer. Woo hoo. Still awkward in between poses, the flow is coming easier and I’m finding my length returning. Now for balance😜. But, I’ll Take the progress today😊. 

Insights: Breathing in the beauty of  soulful center and the yesterday recurring theme showing up today of honesty. Honesty of learning something new and being open to how awesome it is! Can’t wait to share tomorrow what this journey has meant thus far. 

But, I’ll Take Today: Work and happiness in 9 days on the Mat! 

Tomorrow: Day 10. Expand.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 8. Meditate.

On the Mat: 28 minutes.

Observations: Day 8 was indeed cozy. Perfect quiet movements in between the fire of the last days. A reminder to be in each day and honest. Honest that I am not as Flexiable nor as graceful as Adriene. Maybe it will come or maybe it never will, but I won’t abandon the try. 

Insights: Slow the eff down. These last 11 days of the new year have actually been amazingly productive and also insightful. But, sometimes when things are going this great. I get greedy with momentum and push for more. Today in this Meditation practice I caught myself to Slow Down again and remember I decided to Rest Easy in making Good:) Do the little things that amount to big stuff in the long run and be present in the in-between like today’s Cozy:) Tomorrow will show up quick enough. 

But, I’ll Take Today: Laundry again:) and Taco’s🌮 tonight. Loving these three days off a week! 

Tomorrow: Day 9. Divine.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 7 Surya.

On the Mat: 17 minutes.

Observations: After Yesterday’s Core this was a breeze:) ok not completely easy. Still modifying on many parts, but showing up for many of the poses in full. All good:) And I think I might need some yoga pants😜

Insights: my intention today finding my strength in the moment and celebrating it whatever level it is:) Needing this practice right now like the Sunshine outside today. And writing about this morning and then showing up to the Mat to realize Surya means Sun. Love those soulful nudges:) 

But, I’ll Take Today: Showing up and enjoying the the love of self-care. 

Tomorrow: Day 8. Meditate.

Love, C.

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 6. Core.

On the Mat: 29 minutes.

Observations: Let me be Honest. I’m trying to find what Feels Good and yesterday after choosing a dear friends call over my morning practice and then planning on coming home at 9pm to do Candle Lit Core:) The reality became... I was tired and just wanted a glass of wine with some little evening Hulu. But, Core happened this morning and that’s ok. This Journey is My Journey and I’m calling the shots:) And I showed up rested and ready. 

So, glad I did! Holy Buckets! That was Throw up working the core city and I’m not kidding. 

Insights: My core is important and I need to do actually do a daily practice of it. Maybe begin with five minutes a day. It does serve me so well and it also is where I carry a lot of my physical baggage (weight). I need to make friends with it and not hold so much shame and insecurity there. Love it and Let it go:) 

But, I’ll Take Today: Catching up with Friends, Laundry and finding Joy hibernating in the warmth of my little studio. 

Tonight: Day 7. Surya.

Love, C. 

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 5. Flow.

On the Mat: 29 minutes.

Observations: Tonight was hard. The hardest yet and I have a feeling it ain’t gonna get easier. But, I’m still gonna show up. The flow and movements are becoming familiar which feels good. Yes, I was tired tonight and prefer on a work day doing this practice in the morning instead. I did do a downward dog fully tonight without modification:) that alone was worth it.  

Insights: I’m where I need to be right now and yoga is definitely a gift with bringing daily calm and chill which I experienced today with in a difficult interaction. 👍

But, I’ll Take Today: Good sleep tonight. 

Tomorrow: Day 6. Core.

Love, C. 

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 4. Feel.

On the Mat: 22 minutes.

Observations: OK I did Feel tonight (which will be last night when you read this). My muscles shaked and shaked. But, it was worth it. I felt like I wanted to see what a evening yoga would feel like and it was awesome. My strength is there and it feels so natural. I’m kind falling in love with this 30 day or 29😜 Journey. 

Insights: I loved how Adriene explained how this practice at home has so many fruits and permissions to just be with ourselves on this journey. And my heart also has a special connection to her practice more so when she mentioned imagining being on the Hill at Barton Springs in her town of Austin, TX. Which holds 2 years of my own life and still so much of my own heart in the people, places and things still there. So, tonight in honor of showing up to the Mat again. A Topo Chico with a Twist of Lime is in order with a big gulp of gratitude:) 

But, I’ll Take Today: slowing down. Being present in my daily routine of work and doing my yoga practice tonight. 

Tomorrow: Day 5. Flow. 

Love, C. 

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Dedicate/Day 3. Observe.

On the Mat: 35 minutes. 

Observations: Yesterday, Muscles I had forgotten had a good ache and I stood a little straighter too again. I slept like a baby last night as well:)  Today was finding my strength coming back and even a little grace in the movements Truly also getting to observe myself in every little action. Still modifying movements, but allowing myself to think about the possibility of trying tomorrow one full position. Pretty cool:) 

Insights: Magic happens in the In-Between. Love being reminded of that today and that Laughter is lovely. Adriene has such charming soul. 

But, I’ll Take Today: Day off. Had big plans to do do do. But, I think I’m just gonna Rest Easy with a new book and watch the new Tidying Up series with Marie Kondo on NetFlix😊 

Tomorrow: Day 4. Feel.

Love, C. 

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:)

Buttered to the Edge.

My Momma always taught me to Butter my Toast to the Edge and since her passing strangely it’s become a little mantra for my life. Attempting to take the basic joys and building a well-fed life off it. 

I’m not talking about eating the whole loaf in the pantry and slathering a stick of butter on one golden toasted slice. But, savoring every Edge just the way I like it. And making no apologies.

Butter is good and toast is fabulous.    Remembering Life is too short to deny ourselves the authentic everyday goodness over a imitation of ideal expectations. Just like I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. It might look like it or the taste maybe resembles it.  But, ain’t Butter and You might as well go for the Real Thing rather than the imposter. 

Last year was a butter bust for me in that Department. I had a lot of ideas of where I needed and wanted to be. And so many Can’ts (won’ts) So, far in these 6 days of 2019. I have been being, doing and bucking the unrealistic expectations. It tastes good to say the least. Yes, their is some salty moments, but I’m resting Easy in them too. Doing me each day a little bit more. 

Writing daily on the Blog. Showing up for Dedicate- 30 day Yoga Journey via Yoga with Adriene. Taking the Day with Little actions that hopefully will turn into Big Picture Progress. Letting Go of People, Ideas and Things that aren’t serving me in the moment. And showing myself Kindness again. 

And thanks for coming along with me.  

Love, C.  

Dedicate/Day 0. Orientation.

Hi I’m Cynthia or Cindy if you’ve known me for along time. I’m a curious soul and like trying new things. So, I’ve decided to go on this 30 day Yoga Journey with many other cool souls out there:) And being a storyteller, I’m gonna try to tell the story as well as I can. Keeping it simple.

Here goes:

On the Mat: 0 Minutes.  [Time spent on the Yoga Mat during this 30 day Journey and of course I’m giving myself more or less time permission] 

Observations: Orientation. No Yoga. Pep Talk. So, Glad I came across this opportunity to remember how to show up for myself again. Adriene seems so kind and it’s awesome that she is doing this for Free. And I love that she’s based out of my Beloved ATX. [Observations each day will be a mini version  to my daily practices of Flow Pages- uncensored whatever comes to mind.]

Insights: I’m just gonna show up. No giant expectations. Just Resting Easy in my 2019 intentions of sinking into Who I Am and not trying to chase ideals that don’t serve me.  [Insights are my little a-ha moments or tiny epiphanies/sparks that show up to remind me of the bigger picture] 

Calendar. A free download from Dedicate. I’ve decided to post it each day and cross off my progress with A Design Kit. 

But, I’ll Take Today: Get my Mat out. And discover my Why’s- Find my strength again. Take Deep Breaths and learn something new.  [Todays little actions and acceptance of Now.]

Tomorrow: Day 1. Discern.  [Whats up for the next day] 

I hope this break down helps and you might choose to come along with me. 

Love, C.  

PS It’s not too late for you to Join myself and many others on Dedicate-A 30 Day Yoga Journey. HERE  It least check it out:) 

Better Than Before.

I am Better than Before. Definitely not Perfect. But, yep Better than Before. Here is a little update where I am at on the Healthy train, certain actions I beginning to take and goals for the next three months. 

Pump on Girl. 

So, the other day on my commute to work, I listened to a Podcast that made my heart pump with Gratitude.  Oprah's SuperSoul Conversation with Geneen Roth- Conscious Eating. They hit on so many inspiring topics. But, One Statement Oprah made, "Pump on Girl" resonated with me on a level I had been looking for. She spoke about how our Hearts Serve us throughout our lives and make it possible to be HERE. I know this to be true, literally:) Since the Nine Months after having my Open-Heart Surgery (to replace my Mitral Valve from a childhood bout with rheumatic fever, if you didn't know:). Now with my Heart working so beautifully, I am gifted with a healthy life I had thought was not possible.  

I can physically do the things, I used to love so much again. Like going for walks and busting up hills with ease or Climbing up stairs like I own those bitches:) Even Running to not miss the bus. All because I can breathe! It's amazing thing, I cherish every moment. And I hope by reading this you do too:) 

Spring Forward Action. 

Barre 3. In the past week I started back up with Barre 3 Online. Exercise Motivation, even with my past heart issues was not a problem for me except in the last few years. I was limited on what I Could do. Now, I can plank without reserve:) When I was in recovery mode last summer. I had to limit certain movements with my open-heart incision. Now that it’s beyond healed, if you are wondering... the only time it still might be uncomfortable. Is if I cough, sneeze or if I am too cold. But, now I am back to fully enjoying Barre 3. It’s a great bonus to my daily walks.

Overall,  the Barre3 online program is so wonderfully designed and works magically during the winter months. I am already seeing results with my stamina and mood. I Look forward to the other benefits:) 

Well-Balanced Baby. No Whole30 or Keto for me. I am sticking to what works. Balance, Average Portions and Limiting my Carb-Sugar intake. I have spent too many years on those crazy fad diets. Before you jump on me with Stats and Articles. I know what I am doing:) I might even go back to this program. It really works (I lost 100 pounds working this program), while teaching you how to eat for Life not for a Diet. 

Nice Little Goals. Recently Listening to this Podcast, I was reminded of the power of little Goals and Keeping it Quarterly. So, for the next 3 months I am working on the above and Making my Bed daily too:) So, Far so good:) on all fronts. 

Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the Internet and reading my health updates and goals:) Keep me posted if you have any:) Love you Guys. 

Love, C. 

The Lonely Heart Club.

A year ago I would've cringed at the thought of writing this post on loneliness… But,  my own current Lonely hearts club isn’t a sad solo meeting in a church basement or a drunk sing-along A La  Bridget Jones Diary anymore.  Here I want to share about how I turned believing loneliness was a curse into a big old gratitude fest of celebrating my own company.

This topic in the past was something I looked at as taboo and shameful. Thinking something was inherently wrong with me for being alone and comparing my single status to others that are not, “Wow if they can find somebody, Why Oh Why can’t I?” or judging other single folks. As you can see over the years I have done a lot of self negative talk on being by myself and it has seemed to spill over into many other aspects of my life. But, always back to ‘What the heck is wrong with me’ ?  Now I realize there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, maybe there are things I need to change, but not for the sole reason of finding a mate. Clearly, on a daily basis flawed humans date, marry and even procreate:)

So, what changed?

Staring Loneliness Head On. When I learned that I needed Heart Surgery and was scared sh*tless of doing this alone or worse dying alone.  Yes, I had some remarkable individuals step-up to the plate and I will be forever grateful to know I actually wasn’t as alone as I thought. But, not having my Father, Mother, Step-Father or my Ex-husband there was excruciatingly hard. Looking back in some ways for most of the pre-surgery journey. I spent a lot of time doing the All or Nothing attitude. I wanted my Mommy and that unconditional love by my side or nothing at all. But, even though I did the ‘feel sorry for myself loneliness dance’, something happened… I wasn’t really alone. The Hospital Staff, amazing Chaplain and a Priest were there for me. My friends and family pushed through my loneliness to be there. I realized that my ideas of what I didn’t have was fulfilled in so many other amazing ways. Reminding me that loneliness is a choice we make sometimes out of fear and facing it truly takes it’s power away.

A Book.  Last Fall, I listened to a Podcast interview via The Lively Show on the topic of Consciously Completing a Relationship with Author Katherine Woodward Thomas. Currently then and now I am Single, so the topic wasn’t too useful, but I was curious and so glad I listened because I heard Katherine's own story of her own challenges of being single and a previous book she had written called Calling in “The One”-7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. I was fascinated to know how at my own age she finally found the One and to read the insights she had collected.

When the Book arrived at my local Barnes and Noble,  I slithered shamefully in and picked it up. Once home I worked that book like Therapy Appointments for weeks. But, instead of finding the ‘One’. I began to truly allow myself for the first time EVER to be OK with my Solo status. Katherine really brought home that you must ‘Start creating your best life to bring in your perfect partner’. So, the advice that so many of us singles hate to hear is actually TRUE. Work on yourself and the lover will arrive;) Wink. Wink. Or in my case now you celebrate solo in the meantime.

Some Movies. While laid up after my Heart Surgery this summer, one of my dear friends from work brought over a extra Laptop and DVD’s for me to watch. Included in her selections was the 2003 Romantic Comedy, Under the Tuscan Sun starring Diane Lane. I had surprisingly never seen it or as I would like to believe… maybe it wasn’t the right timing until then:) But, whoa each time I watched the story about divorced, American writer Frances Mayes embarking on her ‘I am sick of being afraid’  adventure about fixing up a ramshackle villa in Tuscany, meeting unique characters and taking a chance on herself.  It felt like big embrace of  ‘It’s cool to be alone right now’ and even more rad to accept it.

And there is another movie favorite that recently reminded me that I was on the right path of embracing time by myself and that Harrison Ford is still hot:)  Sabrina, the 1995 version with Julia Ormond and Greg Kinnear. Do you remember the scene when Sabrina is in Paris and walking with her French Mentor? And she says to Sabrina, “You seem embarrassed by your Loneliness. Don’t be. It is only a place to start …”

A Slap in a face reminder that We shouldn’t be embarrassed of our Loneliness ever. I have firmly come to believe now and know it is where some the greatest adventures of our lives do start.

Other Cool Lonely People. Another big thing I have learned recently is not shy away from other lonely people for fear of misery likes company mentality. After all, not all Lonely people are miserable:) Get to know their stories, let them know your story and do things together.  Embrace the chance to make new friends. I know that idea can be a frightening one as adult, so many of us stick with old friends just out of comfort and honestly that can even make you more lonely.  Getting outside of our comfort zones might be scary at first, but who knows a new friend might introduce us to our next relationship:)  Even if not, it is still worth cultivating new pals.

Gratitude. I know I have been talking a lot about Gratitude lately. But, it is a discipline that really works in the loneliness department as well. Being Grateful for the time alone to focus on the things we love and self-care. And I am not just talking about running a bath or going for a walk. Those things definitely matter and bathing is always a good idea;) But, Gratitude for self-care when related to how we treat ourselves mindfully. The things we say to ourselves.  If we are talking trash about ourselves, loneliness will be a prison of sorts. But, if we change that trash talk into gratitude talk, loneliness becomes a possible place of happy:) In my daily Morning Gratitude Practice, I try to say kind things about my current relationship status and even find myself saying, “I am Grateful for loneliness and all the lessons I am learning.”

I know many of you might think, I have falling off the Lonely Ladder:) But, Seriously it is pretty amazing to feel so at peace with this Single Moment in my life. Yes, of course I would love to find someone and I will. I never have had a problem with it in the past.  But, I don’t want it be about desperation and embarrassment. I have learned from that kind of  Loneliness, when we panic we attract like minded relationships or allow people into our lives that we normally wouldn’t. Just for the sake of not being alone.

So, I really hope all this Lonely Hearts Club talk might of helped you as well and if you have any other ideas of enjoying loneliness let me know. I would love to hear from you. Because I am Lonely and All;) wink. wink.

Love, C.