Self care

The Call to Courage.

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“If you’re brave with your life and choose to live in the arena, you’re going to get your ass kicked. You are going to fall, fail, and you’re going to know heartbreak.”

It’s the truth. I know it too well. And until last night before watching Brené Brown’s Netflix Special I had forgotten the power of bravery and vulnerability.

Having this arsenal of insight again makes me a little less (Ok Big less) hard on myself for being human and making changes in the last four months that would terrify most.

Choosing courage over comfort is not easy. It’s actually downright scary. But, from my own experience a whole hell of lot better than staying stagnant or worse closed off to growth.

Yes. Their are many moments where I’m disappointed, afraid and full to the brim with vulnerability. But, one thing I can’t say, I didn’t try. I have and am. It sucks most days. But, I keep showing up. And you should too.

Watch it. I promise where ever you are right now you in your life you will take some wisdom with you ♥️.

Money Honey.

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A couple weeks ago while putting away the money in the cash tills at work, I had a sweet like honey epiphany...

That Money is in Fact Paper (OK, actually according to the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing, our paper money is more a blend of Linen, Wood Pulp and Cotton. You’re Welcome for the info😉)  and we as Humans assign value to it and also our preconceived ideas too.

Before you think I have lost my mind by stating the obvious. Stay with me. I promise their is a point to all of this 💰 talk. Over the last few years personally, I’ve been trying to change my own ideas about money from Negative to Neutral even striving for positive:)

Digging deep into my empty money mindset pockets to understand why I have little and others have zillions. It’s been a interesting study to say the least. Fascinating, challenging and healing endeavor as I pour over new concepts and ideas like I’ve found via Jen Sincero’s book, You are a BadAss at Making Money or even recently from my dear friend Kendra sharing her own enlightening shifts towards Monetary Abundance.

Now after these two years of consciously getting real with myself and my money challenges. I’m excited to share with you and also a little reminder to myself on how far I’ve come and the work I still need to do. As you read forward: All I ask is you too keep a open mind, stay curious with new money mindsets and above all be kind if you see parts of yourself in my own money story:) Some of it can be pretty vulnerable, but I’m all about Embracing, Learning and Growing even in my 40’s  when often society says we should have our financial shit together.

Now your Turn. Grab a notebook and a pen. I’m sharing some questions I’ve asked myself over the last couple of years and currently. *I created even a ‘Money Honey’ Journal where all my notes live. 

What’s Money to you? Write whatever comes to mind and then maybe highlight the thoughts that trigger emotion. This exercise was so interesting to me and opened me up to so many preconceived ideas I’ve been carrying around $$.

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A Penny for your Parents Thoughts

It all begins when we’re little people. Our Parents and even Grandparents teach us our first Money stories. It’s either a healthy legacy or a skewed one like my own story. Yes, they’re a few positive take-a-ways I myself still carry. but overall what I’ve learned was most of these mighty dollar lessons were really a one way ticket to the bank of disfunction junction. Reflection I found has been key to amend that history. Here goes:

Growing up I remember loving staying home “sick” from school all cozied up on the couch watching morning game shows. It was the early 80’s and Game Shows littered the morning channels like trash on the freeway. My favorites were Price is Right (Duh), but Sale of the Century was my ultimate jam.  

I loved seeing Adults being excited about winning awesome prizes and the chances to choose the big prize! A clear plastic briefcase full of money:) It was a far cry from my own Parents concept of money in our household. 

My Mom was the Money Rebel. She herself grew up the youngest of five kids to Parents that lived through the Great Depression. So, their own money ideas were of scarcity and a hoarding money mentality. Growing up with that lack of idea she went the opposite on the spectrum. As a Adult craving the finer things on a middle class budget. She would spend and hide it the best she could from my Dad. It unintentionally was a game for her, to spend on things she loved without my Dad finding out. He always did somehow though.

I also was her little partner in crime on these shopping excursions and learning that spending was secretive. And a lot of that spending was for me and I remembering feeling guilt for that though her intentions were good as She never wanted me to be without the things she had not received as a child. 

My Dad on the other hand was the Money Inforcer. He would use shame and control tactics on my Mom often. He still tries it with me, Calling me ‘Little Linda’ after my Mom when I “f*#k” up in his opinion. But, the ironic fact about his tactics. It was ok for him to splurge on himself or even me because he was the breadwinner.  

So, as you can see, I grew up with a weird guilt about money watching they’re adult drama play out and I still carry it with me. My Parents despite they’re own challenges always were so giving to me and Money often was a currency of love.  That love currency I’ll leave for therapy😜. 

This is all money childhood stuff I’m still currently working on while getting specific with creating my own new foundations of a financial legacy. I’m learning to amend my monetary history while also acknowledging I can’t rewrite it. But I can correct and learn from it. Ultimately trashing the lessons that aren't serving me now and focusing on the concepts that do. 

Now your Turn. What did your Parents or Family teach you about Money? Positive, Nuetral or Negative? How can you amend your monetary history to serve you better going forward?  

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More than a Financial Portfolio 

Our relationship to Money as I shared in my own Money beginnings is definitely more than a boring financial portfolio. It has a lot of feels, learned thoughts and behaviors that actually go beyond some cash issues. My own adult broke ass story has often been filled with fear, what ifs and worry. It’s a scary story to be in and I know now I need to do some major self-fixing and uncovering better ways to view and live with money going forward. Changing old patterns and ideas. Acknowledging that I am tired of the inconsistency and dreaming of someone or thing to swoop in and fix it for me. 

When I first began doing the mental money work, resistance came in like a phantom in the night:) These past two years have been a challenge to say the least. Old habits are hard to die. But, yesterday I heard a quote from the new Mary Poppins Movie that gave me a good reminder. “Everything is possible even the impossible.” Money included. 

 A year ago when I filed Banruptcy, the kind I pay every month my past debt. I never would of imagined that I would of felt that kind of freedom again as a single person. It seemed like the impossible, but it did become possible.

Yes, I’ve had some small and medium sized set backs and still daily reminders to myself that no one is going to save me (like my ex-husband did) but me. But, also knowing their is help and guidance out there and it never hurts to ask. We’re never alone in this life and even when money is involved.  Whatever your Money mistakes are or have been you too can move to the light. Even if it’s just sparkly pennies in your financial portfolio in the beginning.  

Now your Turn. What our the true feels you have with money right now? Bleak, Fine or Abundant? Do you have any Resistance to old Money Habits you need to change? Mistakes that keep showing up? Any little Sparkly Penny steps you can make now? 

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Happy Money Thoughts

Ok, This is the fun part. This why I’m writing this post. I actually now enjoy thinking of money and even writing about it😊. It’s like when my friends talk about what they would do if they would win the lottery. Their faces light up and their eyes sparkle with the endless possibilities that imagined wealth could bring and It’s fun too.

But, most of my life it wasn’t. Like Money, even talking about the lottery stressed me out. I usually would sit back and listen as my buddies would go off into La La lotto land. Thinking to myself, “Oh that sounds nice and all, but I never win anything anyway and I don’t even play the lottery.”

I’d even have snarky thoughts like, “People actually don’t deserve that money, they didn’t work hard for it and it’s actually kind of tacky.”

If I did allow myself for a second to contemplate this ‘frivolous’ idea... I’d had ideas like, “I want my wealth to be Sophisticated kind of well to-do, a hard working money making endeavor not some Holding a Big Ass Check in between the 6 o’clock news kind of gross KLA$$Y get rich quick story”.

And that’s probably why I’m stoically poor😂 with that kind of Money Mindset attitude. Shutting that Happy Money shit down quick while being a arrogant a-hole to boot. 

While recently re-reading You are Badass with Money again for the third time, it’s finally sinking in on how my limiting, downright negative thoughts do limit my money mojo. Don’t worry I’m not gonna go blow my next paychecks on Lotto tickets with this recent epiphany, but I’m loving replacing those tired old ugly misconceptions of money with much happier thoughts. 

Now your Turn. What would you do if you won the Lottery? What are your negative misconceptions of Money? How can you transform them to Happy Thoughts?  

Radio Abundance 

Money is Energy. My dear friend Kendra recently said this to me, who happens to also now be my Money Mentor:) She is such amazing, loving wise soul that came back into my life recently sharing her own enlightened financial shift with starting a new business adventure that has transformed her own well-being and wealth.

When I got real with Kendra about how my own Money story is currently, she jumped to the sharing is caring attitude. Explaining how once she     realized that Money is Energy and changed her own currency thoughts on it. Her own ‘Radio’ frequency of Abundance changed for her and her family.

At first, my initial thoughts went to, “Oh lawd not Law Of Attraction or The Secret again😂- you just think it and it will appear instantly like that awesome perfect parking spot at Target.” But, instead she gave me concrete numbers and what she did to really make it happen.

And it’s more than just our conscious thoughts on Money like I mentioned in the beginning. You gotta go deep into the preconceived ideas we’ve grown up with and challenge that old man money mindset to tap into what we both now call Radio Abundance:) 

We all our made of energy. This is scientifically proven and when it comes to our thoughts they too our energy that manifests into action. So, when your always thinking about Money like I have  most my life, “I’m broke. Money sucks. Rich people are luckier than me...” that becomes your story. But, if you think instead, “I’m so adundant, Money is lovely. Rich people are no different than I am.” Your Money thought frequency shifts.

It might not mean you wake up with a wad of cash under your pillow tonight and if you do... I’d call the police. That’s weird🤪. But, your Money dialogue definitely is far more open to positive inner discussion and actionable abundance ideas.  

Now your Turn. What are your thoughts on Money as Energy? Do you have a Money Mentor? Someone that uplifts and inspires you to look beyond your limiting monetary beliefs? What currently is your Radio Abundance frequency at? Negative or positive? Do you have any Actionable Abundance ideas?  

Money Mantra

I read about creating one in You are a Badass at Making Money awhile back (get the book). But, at the time the idea of it floated over my head as certain ideas do when your quite not ready for them in that very moment. We’ve all had that happen... something just doesn’t click until the right timing appears.

My Money Mantra time finally showed up as Kendra shared excitededly about how it was her numero uno success shift for changing her own money mindset and approach to abundance.  

So, here’s the Gist: I wrote my first Money Mantra using Kendra’s one as a guide. Where she got super Specific even down to $$$ and staying Present Tense as if she had the Money Now, which actually she does at this moment:) She also chose her words very wisely. Staying away from Lack of limiting words like, I wish, I want, I need and I can’t with I have, I create and I love. 

Kendra’s Money Mantra was very detailed and at the end even stated affirmations to repeat as often as necessary. I used a few of them myself including one that I found I resisted big time that I now embrace wholeheartedly. But, overall the Money Mantra is a clear way to get real with what kind of abundance you are open too and actionable steps to get there.

I finally did a 2nd Draft based also off the ideas featured in Jen’s book.  It began with a fun ‘what if’ exercise of what my ideal day is if Money was no object and then I broke that down even further into my own Money Mantra revised.

Now I read it every morning. It definitely has shifted my own money mindset into a more positive, affirming way that creates excitement and confidence despite my current circumstances. Anything for peace of mind, Right?!?! 

Now your Turn. What would your ideal life be if you had the Money now? Write down a page of What if’s and Create from that your own Money Mantra. Remember to be specific, present tense and choose your words wisely. And what could be a few affirmations that you could use throughout the day to reframe any negative thoughts that pop up?  

Luxury Redefined

As I mentioned above I had some major resistance to one of the Affirmations I had borrowed from Kendra when creating my first Money Mantra which was, “I Live Luxuriously”.

The word Luxury instantly repulsed me, conjuring up negative beliefs like Gross, Excess and Tacky abuse of Wealth. I hated to read it or worse say it.  

So, when Kendra and I chatted the next time. I brought it up and without hesitation she explained that Luxury isn’t all about owning a private jet😀It’s about finding your own ideas of luxury (Big or Small) and not letting others examples or your former personal judgements cloud your Luxury meter. 

Soon after redefining this belief with Kendra, I came across some perfect examples of what fed this negative luxury idea in the first place. It was so interesting to investigate and reflect with a much more open money mindset.

Being 44 and growing up in 80’s there were definitely some decadent luxury living going on with the likes of millionaire moguls like Donald Trump and even a example that hit closer to home.

The TV Evangelist Jim Bakker (who ended up being my Dads Inmate at his work for the Federal Prison in my hometown of Rochester, MN.) and his wife Tammy Faye. They're gross misuse of church funds and living lavishingly under the guise of God’s Blessing of money. Left a major bad taste in my mouth about Wealth, Luxury and abuse of Mascara (Google Tammy Faye and Mascara if your unaware😂). 

Yes, some of us might want a air-conditioned dog house for they’re pets like the Bakkers or a private jet a la Kardashian’s and even maybe a closet full of Juicy Couture Track suits for someone else. But, I’m not here to judge anymore. Instead Re-writing what true Luxury is for me. 

My Luxury meter is all about going to the bookstore and affording the titles I’ve been dying to read and marking them up with lovely notes. Or a cup full of G-2 Pilot Pens in Bold. Being able to buy Dinner for a friend or not worrying about having to choose between gas or food.  

This kind of Simple Luxury brings joy, excitement and possibility to my heart. Honestly a reminder, if  doing all of this Money Mindset Reset is just for this shift change. It’s been totally worth it.   

Now your Turn. What’s some of your misconceptions of Luxury? How can you redefine them and enjoy a happy, healthy view of personal Luxury that fits You?  

Want more?

This post/essay actually has been one of my all-time faves to write and research. I’m surprised as you are that Me, Myself & I love talking about Money so much🤩 now and I hope it sparks a little fire of cash convo in you too.

Do you want more? Here goes:

Read:

You are a Badass at Making Money: Mastering the Mindset of Wealth. Your probably sick of me mentioning it or your ordering a copy for yourself on Amazon right now. Do the latter and thank me later;) *And No I’m not getting a kick back😜 for mentioning it so much:) But, it’s just that good as well as Jen Sincero’s first Badass Book, You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. 

Jen’s Funny as Shit, honest and One of us trying and doing self-helpery work to be our Best Versions. She breaks things down in a way that makes it enlightening, refreshing and possible.  

I even thought recently about how awesome it would be to go to one her book signings and hand this baby over to her to sign.  But, as I played this little scenario around in my head as I flipped through the well-loved pages and admiring the work/notes I’ve done. I realized in that moment for the first time my copy is already signed! Whoa! Reminding me once again that we all have this money mojo in us and we just need tools like this to remember it:) So, get it and do the work:) 

And Find Your Money Mentor: 

Someone you Trust and Admire to inspire you to look beyond your pre-conceived ideas of the $$. A friend that builds you up and has done the Work before you.

My Friend and Money Mentor Kendra has been such a blessing and continues to be even outside the realms of $$. Check her out for yourself on the gram @kendramarable Artist+Chef+Visionary and much more♥️. 

Make Money Knowledge your Amigo: 

Especially as Women.. Money Talk historically was reserved for the opposite sex not us so much. I know in my childhood I got that misinformation often that Money was a unladylike topic of conversation. Not anymore and while on this Money Journey of Love, I’ve decided to make it my business and enjoy it too.

A fabulous resource for me has been Makers which is a Media Brand I follow on the gram that ‘exists to accelerate the women’s movement through stories of real-life experiences that ignite passion and action’.

Including Real Money Myth Busting Talk and Empowerment via Makers Money Series. Leaving me wonder despite my limited Math skills I should of maybe gone into Finance:) It’s been a game changer for me hanging out with these Money Amigos of ideas and insights. 

So, What’s Next for You and I? 

I personally am enjoying the Money Mindset Reset Ride. I’m showing up and working. I’m creating and Making Wind Chimes of Pennies😜 J/K, but I did take some pretty pictures of Pennies to showcase here;) But, most importantly thinking of money with love not contempt anymore. Visualizing and meditating on a more abundant life. So, when those old $$ ideas come swinging in  with a their heavy weight punch. I’m now ready to knock them it out with a affirmation and a new spark of possibility. Yes, I’m not yet rolling in the dough, but now I’m sure as heck open to the possibility of it. That in itself is priceless:) 

Now I want you to go find your own Money Possibilities. Keep me posted.   

Love, C.