Last week or maybe the week before that… it’s so hard to keep track of time these days. I watched one of Untamed Authors Glennon Doyle’s daily “Morning Meeting” check-in’s during Covid-19.
She had a discussion topic on something very close to my heart actually the ONE thing in my life that really never leaves my mind and always is a perpetual goal or either a thorn in my side: (Link ⬇️)
And clearly I’m not alone in it and am so grateful that Glennon was so honest with this question that she always gets. Do watch for her response.
I know it’s maybe not a ideal time to delve into the questions my own Body Love and Trust. But, I do what I want:) and I’m a firm believer that God (or Higher Power) brings us questions in divine timing even if it’s uncomfortable as hell.
But, actually I DO feel like I’m ready for this Wellness Work. I do have the time to be uncomfortable and seek out some solutions before my new normal starts again.
Currently I’m in a “Safe Place” to do this, being at Home in my cocoon comfort zone allows me without distraction to do the hard work in my head again and the Covid-19 Pandemic has really opened me up to think of my health and actions in whole new urgent way that I really need to take to feel and care better for myself during this uncertain time and beyond.
And I’m not talking about Diets, Fuck Diets actually. Sorry about the swearing, but quick fixes infuriate me. But, instead I’m talking about finding that Sweet Spot of Balance again. I’ve been there before and it’s a place I want to live again. And if I can just hang-out there permanently and put down some good roots that would be awesome as well.
But, I’ve got some major work to do to get there and after yesterday’s post I felt I was onto something… and soon after Glennon’s IGTV showed up. A timeline of divine intervention I believe that I’m ready to dig into:
DO YOU LOVE YOUR BODY?
I love you, but I don’t like you right now. You piss me off actually. You gain weight just looking at a donut it seems. But, what makes me even more angry is the Head attached.
That I constantly berate you and always focus on your superficial flaws. The weight gains, the stretch marks, the big belly, the spider veins behind your knees that are now are popping little by little on your lower legs that make my head swim with more “limitations” of what I can’t wear. I know this is all stupid and mean.
But, I still love you. It’s a constant battle of thoughts vs. reality of how grateful that I am actually that you kept me Here after all you’ve been through.
To be able to breath again freely, wake up to love my loved ones daily, have moments I cherish like this and a future to Live.
DO YOU TRUST YOUR BODY?
I actually do. I Trust you with my Life.
You gave me the warning signs when you were sick and failing. You worked so hard to not give up until the surgery was complete. You bounced back with such joy it seemed with each new breath and movement. You were and are so happy to feel better.
Why am I so mean to you? Punishing even? When you are a miracle.
I’m so sorry, so so sorry. Please forgive me.
Starting tomorrow on StoryboardC for the next 10 days I will be unpacking and building on this initial post after stumbling (Love how God guides us to the right information and people when we begin to do soul work) upon @AshleyRoseReeves Free Better Body Love 10 Day Challenge on Instagram.
These past 10 days of Digging Deep into her Real Life Tried & True content in discovering Body appreciation and positivity has been Life changing. The Best Self-Work I’ve ever done actually.
Though as uncomfortable as it is to share these most intimate thoughts and stories of my life long battle with weight and self-worth. I’m doing it just if one person (including myself:) reads it. It’s so worth it to finally see some light coming back in.
See you here tomorrow for Introduction to Better Body Love.
Love, C.