A Social Media Story.
“I want to live my Life, not Record it.” -Jacqueline Kennedy
Let’s talk about Social Media! I know it’s a loaded topic with so many layers to it and I could probably do ten posts:) But, one will do for now especially when it comes to Faith and Social Media.
It starts for me with this quote by Jacqueline Kennedy above. It lives inside the cover of my planner as a reminder to choose living over documenting my every day. And the above photo of her stays in my iPhones favorite photo section as another reminder if I am on social media to remain playful, gracious and light most days.
Jackie herself definitely knew a thing or two about Social Media even before it existed. As Being one of the original “Influencers” of her day. Where everything she did, said and wore was plastered in magazines, books and news columns. She knew a Documented Life had a legacy especially after the tragic event in Dallas, November 22, 1963 that changed her world and even ours as a Nation. But, she never let it define her.
That's where Faith and Social Media is starting to come together for me in a new way.
Living vs. Recording.
Recently, case in point:) I always in a New Year make a intention to be more active on Social Media particularly Instagram. It's no secret I have little time for the other platforms:) I just love creating new IG content and challenging myself to be more active. It always seems to go well at first and then something happens… I get a bad case of cold feet. But, this month it has been whole another beast.
I allowed my feelings to get hurt and took a unfollow way too personal. It was someone I truly admired, I had even invested in her courses and read her books recently. She was a huge influence on my Faith reconversion Journey last year and actually inspired me to be more Brave in sharing my story online with others this year.
When I happened to notice her unfollow, I felt like I was in 2nd Grader again and never being asked to the most popular girl in classes birthday. I instantly went to What had I done? Am I not interesting enough anymore or did I offend her in some way? I know what your thinking?!? Why cares? It’s not someone you know in person and people unfollow people all the time.
I get it. I thought the same things. But, I did care and to actually understand why this was bothering me so much. I dug deep even prayed about it and poured my heart out in my Morning Pages.
It came down to this…
Virtual Life is not Real Life.
Ironically, I just finished a lovely book by another Catholic writer Emily Stimpson Chapman, Letters to Myself: from the End of the World. Where Emily writes to her 25 year old self during the beginnings of the Pandemic. It contained 45 beautiful letters including 5 on social media.
The First Letter in the section was titled, Virtual Life in not Real Life. I went back and read it again. It definitely spoke to me in whole new way.
Online is Not Real Life and I often try to make it that way, out of my own lack for what I want real life to be. beautifully curated. I've honestly been ashamed to show my life in so many ways. It hasn't ever turned out how I expected it too. Growing up I had so many big dreams and ambitions that I still carry with me and as time slips by I get frustrated with myself even more.
Then even a virtual world that seems perfect makes me feel that I don't measure up either. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Right?
Then God swooped in to remind me that I was made for more than this… My life is precious and so is the story he gave me. That my dreams and ambitions are gifts not curses and the timing I've placed does not matter at all to Him. It’s Timeless work rooted in his love. And this virtual world that many of us invest so much energy in is fleeting and fruitless without His Redemptive message not being involved.
So, I go forward now knowing I solely belong to Him. My middle name I was even given, Christianna- Belonging to Christ. Tells that True Story Narrative.
And that's all of our Stories. So, when Social media permeates your purpose in a negative way. Know you are much more then the follows, filters,reels and algorithm too.
You and I have a REAL LIFE WAITING TO BE DISCOVERED in HIM outside of all that.
Peace be to you.
Love, Cynthia 🫀.
PS I still will be hanging out on occasion.
A Revival Story.
Definition of Revival re·viv·al | \ ri-ˈvī-vəl \
1: an act or instance of reviving : the state of being revived: such as a: renewed attention to or interest in something b: a new presentation or publication of something old c(1): a period of renewed religious interest (2): an often highly emotional evangelistic meeting or series of meetings 2: restoration of force, validity, or effect (as to a contract)
The word Revival use to only live in my imagination as a big ol’ tattered White tent in some open field maybe near a small southern town. Where a sweaty Preacher Man in a white dress shirt with a cheap clip-on tie is screaming God’s Fervor and Good News verses on a makeshift stage. Of course he’s waving a Bible above a dozen or so reluctant hand waving folks sitting in old folding chairs that keep sinking into the earth below them.
So, when I saw on my IG feed that Blessed Is She was doing a FLY REVIVAL in my own neck of the woods this last June. My curiosity sparked. I bet it would be whole lot different and maybe more like the subdued Webster Dictionary definition above.
How couldn’t it be? It would be lead by Women. Where there would be no Tent, but a beautiful Parish church outside of St. Paul, MN instead. Not a Preacher Man waving a Bible (Not that it is Bad:), but Priests offering Confession and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament in between a evening of Prayer, Praise and Worship. And Pews instead of Folding Chairs. But, the only thing that might be the same is that I would be one of the reluctant ones waving my hands in the air.
But, I had to go to my first Revival. I needed Community again and I felt called by the promptings of the Holy Spirit in prayer that this might be where it could happen. The Holy Spirit was relentless actually that I go.
Especially after my recent Reconversion at my dear Aunt Sandy’s Funeral Mass. Where I had been away for over 4 years from the Church. I know it might not seem like a long time, but it was for me. I never thought I would abandon my Faith ever. never. But, I did.
But after coming back from the Funeral enveloped in the Holy Spirit. I was still Fumbling. I found great Comfort again in the Blessed Is She Movement. I never stopped following their IG acct., I just muted it while I was gone. It was the first Virtual place I went for help to make sense of my renewed Faith.
Look at the Birds Day.
Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they?
Saturday came. I drove from Downtown Minneapolis to a suburb outside of St. Paul praying the whole way- Jesus please keep me open to your call. Help Heal the wounds I carry and make sense of the sadness and loneliness I bear now.
Then in that moment as I prayed, thought of my Mother in her Hospital bed a year before she died. Receiving such comfort from the sweet memory of me as a Toddler sitting for hours at our screen door overcome with delight looking at the Birds outside. Pointing and “chirping” with them.
Now 40 something years later I didn’t know yet that the Heavenly Father would use that Memory to reignite his Love for me.
When I arrived at the Church parking lot it was nearly empty. I was way early. But, I gathered my nervous self up in the Volvo and just finally got the courage to walk into the church and Gathering space. I was greeted by kind Church Volunteers and given my black canvas swag bag filled with a journal and 20 oz. Fly Cup. I nervously bee lined to the Merchandise Table that was actually being refreshed from night’s before Revival.
Then the Good Conversations began.The Woman working the Table was my age and she instantly put me at ease. I was afraid that everyone attending would be only Young Woman, Mothers with tons of Children. None of it is bad, but would I fit in? I never felt like I fit into any of the Catholic Woman Vocation narrative. Not that I’m a harlot or anything ;) But, as a divorced childless woman with a current Boyfriend that never went to church since he was a teenager. I wasn’t the ideal Catholic Woman.
The next person I met was early too. She was a 30-something Mom that had travelled alone from Wisconsin to attend both nights with Friends in the area. She was definitely on fire with the Holy Spirit from the Night Prior. Let’s call her Paige.
Paige was so welcoming and instantly put me at ease. Instantly threw out my feeling of not belonging. Telling me how impressed she was with me for coming alone and following the prompts of the Holy Spirit after I told her recently I had come back to the Catholic Faith.
Eventually her friends showed up and the Gathering Space was filling with Woman including Blessed is She Ladies I had only seen online like Nell O’Leary with her Baby. I so badly wanted to say Hi and Thank her for her beautiful, honest posts, but I felt awkward. So, I just headed into the Church alone.
Once I sat down. This warmth enveloped me and it was as if I heard Jesus, “Welcome Home my Beloved Girl. Thank you for coming to spend time with me. I have missed you so much. I love you.”
The Church was still pretty empty just Loners like me. All ages and walks of life. I felt the Sisterhood. Praying for each one of them as I sat there until the other Sisters came in.
My new Friend Paige and her friend came to sit with me eventually. I said Thank you and she just smiled and rubbed my arm gently like a sister would do. Then a few minutes later her other friend came and sat on the other side of me. I wasn’t alone anymore.
The worship music leader began and it was like light through the air. Then Beth Davis’s Talk came and she encouraged us to go the Confession that was being offered thorough out the evening. I actually was the first to jump up. I walked into the Confession Room on a mission and first asked the Priest if we could be face to face instead of behind the screen. He welcomed it. Oh, he was so kind and patient. It been quite awhile for me. I poured out my heart for abandoning my faith and the anger that had boiled from me. I didn’t even know until that moment how much it had effected me.
Forgiveness washed over me and I began to sob. As I collected myself before leaving, I asked him if I could Steal a tissue from him. We both laughed at that and Joy broke into my heart for the first time in a long time. And who steals from a confessional?!? Apparently me with only permission:)
When I went back to my seat… the night was full of so many more little Miracles. Beth’s Talk was beautiful and so many of her words felt catered just for me. Gotta love the Holy Spirit for that.
I Finally was Brave enough to Bring my Loneliness to Our Father and the deep pain of recently losing my earthly Father and losing my Mother 9 years ago. The anger and feeling of abandonment finally bursted into Love as we began Adoration.
I had been revived. I know that sounds silly, but I was so cracked open. Where Jesus’s Love finally was welcome to see my broken pieces again. By the Time the Monstrance with Jesus came to me, Gratitude at poured from my Heart. It was as if I was that Toddler again with Delight for the birds and remembering how far more Precious I am to Him.
And Yes there was hand waving and I was included:) When the night ended and I said Good-Bye to dear Paige and her friends. I glanced over at the Tabernacle and praised him with such thanksgiving for helping me remember how loved I am and then I promised I would visit soon again.
As I drove home, my heart was still on fire. Realizing that I had not left Jesus at the Church. He was still with me. I was never away from Him. He never ceased residing in my Heart, I was the one that closed myself off. And those years were a necessary lesson to bring me to this Moment of Healing and understanding of his Love in a New Way.
Now 10 months after the Fly Revival, I see the series of gifts that still bring me closer to God daily. I’m so grateful for the Blessed Is She Community and the Sisterhood we have online. A reminder that all Social media isn’t so bad:)
Thank you for reading my first Faith Story of 2022. I hope it helps in some way, so if you feel alone or don’t feel like you fit in. Jesus always has a place for you and finds you.
Much Blessings and Love, Cynthia 🫀
Ephphatha Perspective.
I’ve been fumbling on this post all week. Cutting, Pasting and Re-Writing. I create blog posts not only to share, but process and this past Month I’ve had a pretty Heavy Decision on my Heart. Kind of Literally. Here goes…
Do I have Weight Loss Surgery recommended by My Cardiologist or Try to do it alone again?
If you are New to StoryboardC let me give you a quick backstory of why I need make this decision. When I was 15, I had a rare case of undiagnosed rheumatic fever that damaged my Hearts Mitral Valve. So, fast forward to four years ago at 42, I had Open Heart Surgery to replace it with a Porcine🐷Valve.
The many years in between the fever and surgery I was often sick without knowing the cause. So, I did everything in my power to feel better including Losing over 100 pounds.
Sheesh I did a decent job with that abridged version. But, I did leave out all of the years of self-blame and felling like I didn’t do enough that went along with all the Misdiagnosis by health professionals.
It truly was a miracle when I Finally was diagnosed (my heart was giving up) and to also hear the words “it wasn’t your Fault” from my Doctor.
But, a month ago when I had my Annual Echocardiogram and the results came back not so great. That old feeling came back again.
Now with the new stress on my Mitral Valve and my overall Heart from my recent weight gain this past year and half. I have to make that decision. Either Lose Weight ASAP or have Open Heart again in a year.
So, after lots of prayer, discernment and research. I am Open to Weight Loss Surgery.
I don’t have two years to slowly lose weight as I did in the past. It pains me to ask for help when I know I am fully capable of Weight Loss alone. But, this is bigger than me now. I want to live a healthy life and if this will afford me more time before Open Heart Surgery (6-8 years) I will do it.
I have to go into this with a whole new Perspective.
Ephphatha!
Meaning: Be Opened in Aramaic. And after listening to THIS HOMILY and reading the Gospel of Mark:
The Healing of a Deaf Man.31j Again he left the district of Tyre and went by way of Sidon to the Sea of Galilee, into the district of the Decapolis.32And people brought to him a deaf man who had a speech impediment and begged him to lay his hand on him.33He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man’s ears and, spitting, touched his tongue;34then he looked up to heaven and groaned, and said to him, “Ephphatha!” (that is, “Be opened!”)35And [immediately] the man’s ears were opened, his speech impediment was removed, and he spoke plainly.36* He ordered them not to tell anyone. But the more he ordered them not to, the more they proclaimed it.37They were exceedingly astonished and they said, “He has done all things well. He makes the deaf hear and [the] mute speak.”k
Ephphatha! has become a rally cry of sorts for healing and perspective. Going forward with a new voice and hearing. Not just listening to my old fears and pride. To be humbled to see myself in all my challenges and not clinging to my past accomplishments for a measure stick of what success looks like. Reminding myself God has a plan for my health that is far better then mine.
This won’t be easy. I’ve done my research for my first appointment tomorrow and have lots of questions! But, I look at my Picture above and know that work has to be done. I know there will be lots of noise around me about making this choice. But, I have to stay in Perspective of what God sees and trusting HIM completely.
He knows my 🫀 better than anyone.
I will keep You posted on how the appt.’s go and the next steps on this journey. Thank you ♥️.
Love, Cynthia
Imago Dei.
@storyboardc
Imago Dei + Image of God.
Hi Dear Friends,
This is my first Faith post in quite sometime. I’m a little rusty and nervous to put this out here, but here goes…
My dear friend Robert planted these Sunflowers outside our little store in the Spring and this year they have grown to the highest heights despite the worst drought on record, excessive heat and skies filled with smoke from wild fires.
Watching them flourish honestly has been one of the few highlights of my Summer.
So, last week as I walked into work, the morning light was perfect and I noticed this one amazing Sunflower. It stopped me in my tracks as the breeze moved it like some kind of cinematic moment. I was in awe. A Neighbor and her daughter even paused to join me in honoring its unique colors and it’s center seeds coming forth.
It was definitely a little Holy Inspiration to Write what has been on my Heart as of late.
Imago dei
When I think of this special little Sunflower that Bloomed so beautifully despite all the Challenges against it. Drought, Excessive Heat and Wild Fire skies. I also can’t help think of its blessings this season: a Gardener that watered him almost daily and a neighborhood that encouraged him and his fellow sunflowers to grow all summer long. What a loved little Flower that God Created indeed.
Then I thought of Us. You and Me. (*And now I’m also thinking of St. Therese, The little Flower with all this flower talk 🌻.
We, like that Flower are called to be beautiful even during the most Difficult of circumstances. We were and are created for it. Not just in the beauty standards of our day and age. But, truly in our Interior Life. A Beauty that can only come from the infinite goodness of aligning with a God that created us. In His Image.
I’m no theologian. I did work at a Catholic bookstore for a few years 😂. So, as I unpack this spark of insight I’ve been sitting with- I’m pretty mind blown. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve heard this before. My whole life growing up in a Catholic Christian Family. But, not until now has it really come on my heart radar to pray and meditate on.
It’s definitely a tall order to live up to to say the least, especially currently as I personally struggle with not feeling like the best representative of Imago Dei right now. I have a lot of work to do. Don’t we all?
But, it’s doable ♥️.
I have a few Faith Tools helping me along since my Reconversion this winter back to my Catholic Faith. Maybe they can help you uncover your own Imago Dei as well.
BLESSED IS SHE
My first one is my “Old Friends” at Blessed Is She, a WELCOMING online community of Catholic Christ-Centered Women. Open to All ages and walks of life. There are no cliques. No Judgements. No needing to fit into a Catholic Culture Vocation mold.
I never stopped following them on Instagram after I left my Faith and BIS messages were right there when I returned. Ministering to me on such a deep and intimate level. I even attended a local Revival of theirs in my area in June. It was such a healing and humbling awakening. I will have to share that evening story one of these days.
But, in the meantime I’m still experiencing such a renewed relationship with Christ from that evening. So much light and comfort that seems to be having a ripple effect in my daily life. Don’t get me wrong things are far from perfect, but without my Faith right now I truly would be a complete mess.
I’m so grateful for Blessed is She for peeling back one of the many layers of Imago Dei in me to remind me of my inherent worth as a dearly Beloved of Christ through the Bible and they’re unique Daily Devotions.
WORTHY OF WEARING
I had recently read a book about Body Acceptance by a well-known IG entrepreneur, advocate and influencer. It was a bright and fun read in all, but it left me feeling a little duped again. I had bought again another expert “self-help” book just after getting rid of about 20 similar ones.
I will definitely write a more detailed post on this subject later too. Whoa I have a lot of writing to do 😂.
But, I finally came across something that has aligned with what I’ve been needing to read.
Worthy of Wearing by Nicole M. Curuso via IG. A reminder that IG isn’t all bad for inspiration these days ♥️. And this Book is giving me that MORE I have been craving.
I went to my Local Catholic Bookstore and picked up a copy. It is a beautiful book and so well written. So, Full of Imago Dei insight. I’m still deep diving into it with my fine tip sharpie as my companion and learning so much despite never having a issue in the style department. I will definitely share more once I am done.
Hallow
I love Hallow. It’s so been apart of my reconversion Journey. I use it daily almost. Getting me back to a healthy prayer life. The benefits have been beautiful.
I love listening to Blessed Is She’s Daily Devotions read by Nell O’Leary. Her Voice is so calming and kind. I also never miss Bishop Barron’s Sunday Sermons and Love praying the rosary along with him as well. The offerings on this Catholic Prayer and Meditation App are endless.
It’s so well designed too. Worth every penny. *They do offer 14 day trial that I would highly recommend if you are not familiar yet with it. Do Please try it.
But, when it comes to my Imago Dei project the most helpful on Hallow has been a collection featured called HEALING WOUNDS with Dr. Bob Schuchts and Sr. Miriam of the John Paul II Healing Center. It truly opened me up to so many parts of my heart that has Held me away from Christ’s love and being able live the Life he has planned for me. All those Gifts…
Like I said above I don’t feel in most moments that I’m worthy to be that imago Dei representative, but this series of meditations and prayers allowed me glimmers of possibility to allow God to work within me.
I hope my Little Imago Dei Post today has helped you in some way discover something. I know this is ongoing project- lifelong :) But, it’s helped me to write it all down and reflect so far in this beginning stages. Please share any of your thoughts. Love to hear until next time.
Love, C. 🫀
