BETTER BODY LOVE/DAY 10.

Day 10! We made it. I made it. To be honest at this point I’m probably the only person reading this 😂. And that’s quite alright:) But, if YOU are… THANK YOU!

Today’s last Topic of @AshleyRoseReeves IG BETTER BODY LOVE Challenge is Changing the Conversation Around Body Image.

Definitely check out her IG Story Highlight Reel and how she’s changed the way she disengages from Negative Appearance Based Conversations.

I know over the years some of my most hurtful comments have came from our societies lack of compassion towards different shapes and sizes. And it all starts with US.

Fat Shaming is a Real thing and Fat Jokes are still Funny and Acceptable to most. This is actually why Ashley created this Free IG version of her Full Program. She saw all the Pandemic Meme’s of getting Fat during this uncertain time and also realized how harming they could to be for individuals that our struggling with Eating Disorders and Body Dysmorphia.

And I’m one of them. I’ve struggled most of my lifewith Emotional Eating and some form of Body Dysmorphia. And it’s not Funny. Seriously Not Funny.

So, I agree with Ashley (and thank you) We do need to continue to Change our dialogue around Body Image. Our Lives have far more meaning then a pant size or how fat her ass is in those Jeans.

Let’s STOP tearing ourselves and others apart based on our appearances.

Let’s show our Children that Their worth and Others worth is more than what the scales says.

And for the Love of God let’s stop looking at someone whose overweight as less valuable of a human or worse to be mocked. ITS NOT COOL.

All these Things can be changed and I will not sit idle anymore. I don’t want future generations to have this on their plate. Life is hard enough as it is and in a global health crisis like this further brings it home.

We need to Love not rip ourselves apart because we gained a few pounds.

What’s Next for Me?

In the next few weeks I will be reconnecting with my Dr’s including a Therapist. I will also be signing up for Ashley’s Full Program HERE.

In the First of this New Year, I wrote down Three goals which included Learning to Thrive Not Just Survive. I actually didn’t have a concrete plan as I wrote it down and.Even prayed that God would reveal it more to me.

And Now it is unfolding in ways I never imagined. I now can see a Life beyond Appearance. It’s a beautiful thing. I seriously want to Thank Ashley for taking her own journey of Better Body Love so I can now take mine and hopefully You can Take Yours!

Cynthia

BBL/DAY 8: BUILDING REAL LASTING CONFIDENCE.

We’re Hitting the Home Stretch for @AshleyRoseReeves IG version of Better Body Love Day 8 out of 10:) Though it’s not a Baseball Game:) And I’m not keeping score.

But, it does feel like I’m accomplishing a Big Thing. A lifelong goal of finally seeing the light after years of living in the dark of Body Hate.

And I don’t ever want to go back.

So, Today’s Topic and To-Do’s really correlate with that Goal, Building Real Lasting Confidence. 😊👍

I loved how in Day 8 Ashley shares how she once read a article that helped her further contemplate her mortality and how she would be remembered.

Our loved ones probably won’t remember us for our appearance, maybe the smiles we shared with them.

But, they won’t be saying, “Oh Cindy looked so Fit and Trim in those slacks she loved to wear during this lifetime. RIP ” 😂😂😂. PS I just had to say the word slacks 😜.

We will be instead remembered by our Character, how we loved and made people feel.

Today’s To-Do Thought Work Ashley asks us to reflect on is pretty profound in my Book. I hope you do it too.

WRITE DOWN YOUR FAVORITE COMPLIMENTS YOU HAVE RECEIVED OVER THE YEARS THAT OUR BASED ON YOUR CHARACTER- NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR APPEARANCE.

Your so Brave. -Nicole

Your Adventuresome. -Beth

You have a Unique perspective of everyday Moments. -Shea

You always find the optimism in difficult circumstances. -Stephanie

You Light up the room with Joy -Jeff

HOW CAN I FURTHER DEVELOP THEM?

This actually was a hard exercise to complete even though I cherish these compliments from loved ones. It’s difficult to re-frame our thoughts around compliments. It makes us uncomfortable to accept them at times. But, one of my favorite all-time quotes from Marianne Williamson comes to mind. It’s a long one:)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Not accepting compliments is a way of Playing Small in this World and it serves no one including yourself. We have nurture those compliments and develop/embrace them.

I am Brave and open for Adventure. I do find unique perspectives in everyday moments. I love having the Glass Half-Full during difficult times. I do Light up a room with Joy.

These heartfelt compliments definitely have made me aware of how I want to continue sharing that with others and paving a way forward on how I want to connect more in my life and with loved ones.

I Hope this also helps you see your own path towards lasting confidence in your own Infinite Worth ♥️.

Cynthia

BBL/DAY 7: REPLACE NEGATIVITY WITH LOVE.

Hello and back for Day 7. But, first How are you feeling? Yesterday was a big post for me and after a lot of thought and prayer. I decided to stop posting a direct link from IG here.

IG is a funny thing most of the time especially with Links in profile. No one swings over. I’m actually ok with it. This ultimately is my way of connecting with my own thoughts and getting it out all on the page. This is my journey not anyone else’s. And this is hard time for nearly everyone in some way or another. I honor that:)

Today’s Topic is a Good one and what resonated with me most is Ashley’s Statement, “Step out of Yourself- A Negative Thought is a Selfish thought.”

Agreed. Agreed. Self-objectification (focusing on ourselves) Appearance wise even if it is self-deprecating. Is still selfish.

I remember in Jr. High there was acquaintance in my circle of friends that sat at our lunch table. Every chance she got she would dog herself, “I’m Ugly.” She wasn’t and throughout school she was known as the girl that did this to phish for compliments. It even became a joke with our peers. I even got busted by her overhearing me complaining of how much this annoyed me. So, let’s just say we’re still not friends on Facebook 😂.

But, Seriously looking back. Jr. High was hard for us all and even though she was pretty and outwardly looked like she wasn’t struggling in the looks department. I can’t imagine what her interior Negative Self-Talk was if she constantly downed herself like that openly.

And Hindsight 20/20 I’d should have instead of voicing my opinion in gossip, went to her directly. And dug a little deeper with compassion. But, I was 15 after all and struggling in my own way:(

Reflecting on this reminds me we all have a inner critic and it can be a selfish inducing one at that. So, sometimes the best way to combat that is to STEP OUTSIDE OURSELVES!

Compliment others in a genuine way beyond appearance. And get over the Women Competitive Thing our culture promotes so often. “Oh, She will get a Big Head Bullshit.”

I’ve seriously come to believe in the last few years when we’re jealous of another woman it is actually Our Deal. Our lack of Worth holding us back and comparing ourselves in a scarcity mentality. Not a abundant way.

“Oh she is so confident and has her shit together. I don’t like her.” but really usually means in our heads… “Oh I wish I was that confidant and had my own shit together. I don’t like me.”

But, you can. I can. We just need to slow our Negative talk roll down and become Aware!

As Ashley said in Day 7: NEVER SUPPRESS A GENEROUS THOUGHT. Towards others or ourselves.

I’ve been working hard at this. Being more mindful of the thoughts I create around negativity and reframing them with Love.. It’s becoming a little easier day by day:) Progress not Perfection.

This is a short post, but Tomorrow in Day 8, She speaks of finding lasting confidence and some cool thought work to continue this Topic. See you here tomorrow.

Cynthia

BBL/DAY 6: “GETTING YOUR BODY BACK.”

Well, Hello! Let’s just say Day 6 of BBL has been the biggest ah-ha moment I’ve had so far on this challenge.

I’ve always considered myself over the years a Advocate for Pro-Aging vs. Anti-aging especially having a career in the Beauty Industry. I’ve often got in trouble for Openly choosing Not to use that terminology.

I now thankfully work for a company that embraces aging and everyone’s uniqueness. But, I still see/hear the damage it has already been done to our culture in trying to Fight the clock.

This negative self-talk and unrealistic beauty standards is actually epidemic in my opinion. Just spend some time on certain IG feeds to see it for yourself if you haven’t already.

But, individuals like @AshleyRoseReeves are trying to change it and I want to as well. I don’t want to see future generations go through what I went through and many of my friends that have wasted so much valuable time focusing on Appearance Based Worth.

Just because we don’t look like we did in High School or a “Magical time” when our weight was ideal according to social standards.

It Doesn’t Make us less Valuable in Life.

“GETTING YOUR BODY BACK”

We all have that magical time where we were at our Ideal Weight. Mine was 15.

This is me above before the Epic 9th Grade Dance. Wearing not the usual 1990’s Prom dress 😂 and Permed Hair. But, a black turtleneck dress and Red Lipstick. Ha, Not much has changed in the clothing and accessory dept. to this day:)

But, after this picture was printed out, it always lived on my Mother’s nightstand. At first it was awesome, but in my 20’s when I gained my weight back. It was a reminder of, “Look she was skinny once.”

Yes, that time in my life was awesome and I was happy, but it also came at a crazy cost when I look back now.

Now Bursting that Mythical Timeline.

I had lost all that weight (65lbs) by eating 600-700 calories a day for 3-4 months. Counting calories like nobodies business. I still remember that diet, Tofu shake for Breakfast. 1 Plain Pita Bread, carrots and a Apple for Lunch. Tuna with Fat-free mayo and saltine crackers for a snack and a Grilled Chicken Sandwich from Burger King for Supper that my mom would pick up for me. Day in and day out and I worked out 3 HOURS a day. PS I still can’t eat wheat pita bread to this day.

It was hardly sustainable, but I was motivated by the compliments and attention I got from my parents. Who at that time were struggling with a failing marriage and upcoming divorce.

It was my way of controlling the world around me that was uncontrollable. Honestly all of my “weight loss successes” over the years mirrored that same model. When my own marriage was falling apart, when my Mother died. Etc. It would be a cycle of Loss, maintenance of exercise in between binges. This has been a hard pill to swallow and now relinquish the myth to my then reality.

But, FREEING! Freeing to know that there is so much more to ME than this and now having the time to focus on True Wellness. Finding room for much more in this Life than constant and controlled appearance based livelihood. This why through this journey I have kept on saying the work is only beginning. It’s not a quick fix and I’m so grateful for the first time to really realize that.

This week I also have decided to see my Therapist again. To share this journey with her. I realize my story needs some professional help going forward. And Thank you for coming along with me too.

Cynthia

See you here tomorrow ♥️.

BBL/DAY 5: WELLNESS LIFESTYLE.

Well, Hello. It’s Day 5 of the Better Body Love Challenge and we’re at the Half-way Mark:) Whoot. Whoot. How are you feeling today? I know I’m excited to Jump into Wellness.

But, first I’m so excited about the progress I’ve made in peeling back the layers these past 5 days. It’s revealed so much. It was a emotional, digging deep kind of excavator ride for sure and I’m beyond grateful that I’ve done it. It’s been so transforming in such a short time. Now allowing me to create a Wellness Lifestyle plan that I’ve been craving for that encompasses not only my Physical body, but my Mental Health.

I would highly recommend to head over to @AshleyRoseReeves IG Stories Highlight Reel now to watch if you haven’t yet to Unpack the topic of Wellness and maybe create your own plan.

Yesterday with my Boyfriend we social distanced our way to a local State Park and went Hiking. It was just amazing out and like many of you. I needed this outing so so much. My mental health, namely anxiety has been through the roof lately. Honestly pretty paralyzing like it had been in my early 20’s.

As we descended the bluff’s trail down to the beach and river. I had second thoughts… holy crap I’m gonna have to climb back up:) But, I did it anyway. Why ruin a good moment with fear:)

Once down at the Rivers Edge resting. Breathing in the air and soaking up that glorious sun. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to listen to the little waves and rustling of trees with there new leaves. It was magical and then I thought about my Wellness Plan from a place of Peace:)

WELLNESS PLAN

Ashley’s BBL Wellness plan is Overall. Physical (Sleep, Movement, Food & Water), Mental (Mindful Practices) and Spirit (Meditation and or Prayer). It should come always from a place of LOVE not Shame, or Guilt, Punishment and Appearance Based.

PHYSICAL

Sleep:

Sleep for me is a big thing for my physical and mental health. It has been since I was a Kid and Currently it’s actually at a awesome place right now.

8 hours and early rising. Just like I love it. But, I’m fully aware once I go back to my old schedule of Retail. I will really need to keep it as a focus. Advocate for more Work/Life Balance.

Movement:

I actually love exercise and it’s overall benefits. Over the years before BBL challenge I’ve learned a healthy balance of finding what you love vs. just doing it for weight loss results.

I love Walking never Running unless someone is chasing me:) I also adore Swimming and Biking.

Now especially after my Open Heart surgery I realize what a privilege it is too enjoy it again. Currently walking is my jam and focusing on integrating it regularly into my daily routine again.

Food & Water:

Like Ashley mentions in her own creating of a Wellness Plan, Food is a Personal Choice customized to your own needs. She doesn’t usually share it with others. This was a big sigh of relief ah-ha moment for me. I completely agree! What Food Choices Work for You, might not Work for me.

I have Type-2 Diabetes and Losing Weight is something that I discuss with my Dr. and Nutritionist. It is a part of my Wellness Plan. I have learned it has nothing to do with appearance, but about creating the healthiest body I can.

I have my BBL journal ready with a Wellness Plan I will be sharing with them and any modifications I need to make with Medications and Lifestyle at my next appointments.

Now for H2O. I love water. I feel good and pee a lot when I drink it;) I’m finding my water drinking rhythm again while at home. Loving that and will definitely be making it a priority when back at work.

MENTAL

Mental Health is Huge for me. In the past few years since my surgery. I’ve had to overcome some new hurdles and learned that my Mental Health is the key to everything else falling into a better place. We as a Culture our also getting better at this especially when comes to Body Acceptance. We still have a ways to go with Diet Culture, but it starts with us making Mental Health the Catalyst towards lasting change.

My Wellness Plan is pretty cemented in mindful practices. Writing, Reading, and creating a overall safe place in my head for acceptance and growth. But, also the BBL METHOD has really made me realize this amazing work is only beginning:)

SPIRIT

After Leaving my Spiritual “Hometown” of Catholicism nearly 2 years ago, I felt a freeing of Guilt on sa many levels that has spilled over into my Journey of Better Body Love. I still practice a Christ-Centered Faith and truly believe our time here on this Earth has a infinite purpose and bodies are a big part of that.

My Wellness plan does consist of Prayer, Meditation and Visualization.

Prayer to be open to divine guidance on making the best decision for my overall health.

Meditation to slow my mental roll down.

Visualization to reframe toxic thoughts and replace them with Best Version Scenarios.

I hope this overview of my Current Wellness Plan Helps you create your own. I look forward to it evolving and changing with my Needs and Joy. I do want to quickly say that Your Wellness is Your Journey! and if it involves things that promote Love then there is no wrong answer ♥️.

See you back here tomorrow for Day 6 😊.

Cynthia

PS: I did actually enjoy my walk back up the Bluff and all the breaks I took:)

BBL/DAY 3: ACCEPTANCE.

Hey! We’re back for Day 3: @ashleyroserevves IG Better Body Love Challenge and Talking about ACCEPTANCE. But, First how are you feeling? Have you begun to do the work with me? If not that’s quite alright that your along for the ride:)

I know I’m feeling a mix of emotions as I share this here and on Social Media (IG) But, with all that is going on in the world and outside our windows.

I’m doing this to feel better and opening up parts of myself that have been dormant for too long. All of The Pandemic has made me so aware of how precious life is and how going forward I truly want to live it in a brighter-healthier way. This is NOT my time to sit on the sidelines, but do what I can to make changes that this unprecedented time allows.

ACCEPTANCE

Today Ashley shares in her IG highlight reel the next step in the BBL Triangle- ACCEPTANCE. Before True Change occurs we must Accept our Bodies right now. As she said, “Acceptance First, so we truly Love (Body).”

She begins with sharing her Favorite 3 Mantras for Acceptance and thought work that goes along with it.

My Momma and I. Fall of 2011. St. Paul, Minn.

CHOOSE EXPERIENCES OVER APPEARANCE.

I have spent majority of my life ashamed of my appearance in some form or another. I’ve Missed out on being truly present with my Loved ones so many times I can’t begin to count.

But, the One that hurts the most is my precious time with my Mother.

In October of 2012 she passed away from cancer and daily I have lived with the regret that I allowed my appearance to dictate how I often interacted with her.

Our relationship for many years was complicated by our own individual Relationships with Body image. Guilt, Blame, Shame etc. But, the last year of her life we healed it all. I’m so grateful for that legacy I still carry.

But, I can’t help wonder at times how things could been so different.

When after she died I would look at this joyful picture and not see joy, but sadness and regret for not taking more photos and not hiding the parts of my Body I hated. How foolish. But, I beginning to understand the insanity of body hate and that I’m still HERE to change it.

My sweet Momma would want more than anything for me now to Start Choosing experience over appearance. And I do too ♥️.

DON’T SIT ON THE SIDELINES OF LIFE.

I’ve missed out so many Things because of my worry about my appearance and disappointing others or being judged. Honestly this mantra has given me permission to dig deep and realize how effing ridiculous I’ve been. People don’t care and if they do who gives a shit. I know easier said than done.

But, I’m challenging myself to reframe my thoughts on this. I’m not gonna miss out on family gatherings, meet-up with friends and special events anymore because my thoughts have decided that I’m unworthy of these experiences due to my weight. Weight Does Not Equal Value in Showing Up.

I BELIEVE I HAVE THE EXACT BODY TO ACCOMPLISH MY PURPOSE ON EARTH.

”I believe if you are supposed to do it- your body will carry you through it.” Ashley Rose Reeves

The biggest message I have gotten from Day 3 is that I have more than my body to offer the world and that this unfolding story of growth has a bigger purpose and look forward to keep uncovering it each day of this challenge.

Thank you so much for coming along with me today. See you back here tomorrow for Day 4.

Love, Cynthia

VISUALIZATION.

Hey, You gotta start somewhere and the head is the perfect place to begin.

Visualization over the years has been the beginning point for so many of my dreams/goals coming true. Yes, they might not turn out as exactly as I imagined. But, they often show up in ways that surprise me.

Now how does visualization work for me? It’s a formula I’ve definitely tweaked over the years. I always first begin with a goal in mind and work on any resistance to that change in my head first before even beginning. For example, my Health Journey.

Back when I was first diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. I had to make some serious changes for my health ASAP. I was 100+ pounds overweight and my Dr. initially recommended me to have a invasive weight loss surgery. I remembered going to the informational meeting and after leaving I sat in my Car crying. The surgery terrified me and I knew that it was Not a option for me.

In the past I had successfully lost weight and knew I could do it again. For about a month despite the urgency, I sat with everything in my head and on paper. Allowing myself the time to digest the diagnosis and come up with a plan and work through all the resistance to changing my current habits into positive ones.

I also began to allow myself to imagine and visualize a new wellness life for myself that would stick. I gave myself permission to dream. I remember watching this YouTube Video daily to help sink it in further.

I finally became comfortable with Starting, little by little like a walk around the block or feeding my body with good foods again. Reminding myself this health journey wasn’t a sprint, but a marathon. Visualization also helped me work through some other challenges that came my way like my emotional eating.

Eventually I lost the 100 pounds and also “gained” way much more like realizing my Imaginations can be the Birthplace of change. Then last year I’ve discovered their is also some pretty exciting big science behind Visualization.

VISUALIZATION 101

Last January I came across the No-Nonsense Motivational Speaker and the 5 Second Rule Founder Mel Robbin’s Mindset Reset 35-Day Free Training Program Series. On Day 6’s video Why Visualization is the Secret to Success. I was blown away. Realizing that all these years without knowing the science behind Visualization that I actually had been practicing it pretty spot on.

Below I’m sharing a little breakdown and cheat sheet per say. Let’s get started:)

RAS

Ok 🤓 Nerd Alert. Mel broke down something I had Never heard of before in her Talk called RAS. It’s some pretty power brain stuff.

The Reticular Activating System is our Brain’s information filter and it’s physically located at the base of the brain where it connects with our spinal cord and works like this…

First our Brain as we all know is a Information keeper and if we did let everything in we would go into overload Loco, Cray Cray:) Explode with Info and That’s where RAS helps us filter out the mass amount of unnecessary information we're exposed too every moment of our lives.

But, it also keeps us in a little cocoon of familiar ideas that our past has programmed. Making us stick to what is comfortable in thought and that’s why change can be so darn hard. But, Not impossible.

Training your Brain.

When your consistently and Intentionally Visualizing a Goal or Dream your resetting your RAS filter (subconscious). Another Fun Fact: The Brain doesn’t know the difference between what has happened or is imagined. The more you train your Brain with a goal scenerio it actually encodes as a “real” Memory in your subconscious. So, that’s where that Manifesting magic might be happening. It’s brain science baby:)

1-2-3 ACTIVATE

Mel also outlined a few simple steps to get real results from Visualization and I’ve added few of my techniques and insights in the mix as well.

1. Close your eyes. 😜. I know it sounds simple. But, you gotta get in a comfortable space. I do most of my visualization at night before falling asleep. Then I create a specific picture In my head and rehearse it over and over until I doze off into dreamland. I also revisit this same story night after night until it feels good and no resistance pops up. That feel good feeling is like a Alarm clock to work on a new scenario towards my goal.
   

2. Activate. This is the Biggie. I remember as a kid watching SUPERFRIENDS and two of my fave super heroes were the Wonder Twins. I loved how they would Exclaim, “Wonder Twins, ACTIVATE.” Then would transform into either something to do with water or animal. It was exciting! Hey I was 4 after all 😜.

   But, Activating your visualization with Positive emotions and Feeling might not turn you into a bucket of water or a eagle 😂. You are Activating your Subconscious to a new Memory. Remember your Brain doesn’t know if it is real or not:)
   

3. Writing It Down. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but according to Marie Forleo’s recent Marie TV episode- How to Achieve Your Goals: 3 Science Backed Strategy’s That Work. She shares a pretty hefty statistic that if you write your goals down your 42% more likely to achieve them.

   I know over the years repetively writing things down has been a form of Visualization for me. A kind of Affirmation of sorts that gets deeper then a fleeting intention. Even writing this post helps remind me of the techniques I want to start doing again to go after some new and old goals revisited.

OK it’s time for me to sign off. Please join the story below and share your thoughts on Visualization. I wanna know and I promise I will keep you updated on my progress.

Love, Cynthia @storyboardc.