BBL/DAY 6: “GETTING YOUR BODY BACK.”
Well, Hello! Let’s just say Day 6 of BBL has been the biggest ah-ha moment I’ve had so far on this challenge.
I’ve always considered myself over the years a Advocate for Pro-Aging vs. Anti-aging especially having a career in the Beauty Industry. I’ve often got in trouble for Openly choosing Not to use that terminology.
I now thankfully work for a company that embraces aging and everyone’s uniqueness. But, I still see/hear the damage it has already been done to our culture in trying to Fight the clock.
This negative self-talk and unrealistic beauty standards is actually epidemic in my opinion. Just spend some time on certain IG feeds to see it for yourself if you haven’t already.
But, individuals like @AshleyRoseReeves are trying to change it and I want to as well. I don’t want to see future generations go through what I went through and many of my friends that have wasted so much valuable time focusing on Appearance Based Worth.
Just because we don’t look like we did in High School or a “Magical time” when our weight was ideal according to social standards.
It Doesn’t Make us less Valuable in Life.
“GETTING YOUR BODY BACK”
We all have that magical time where we were at our Ideal Weight. Mine was 15.
This is me above before the Epic 9th Grade Dance. Wearing not the usual 1990’s Prom dress 😂 and Permed Hair. But, a black turtleneck dress and Red Lipstick. Ha, Not much has changed in the clothing and accessory dept. to this day:)
But, after this picture was printed out, it always lived on my Mother’s nightstand. At first it was awesome, but in my 20’s when I gained my weight back. It was a reminder of, “Look she was skinny once.”
Yes, that time in my life was awesome and I was happy, but it also came at a crazy cost when I look back now.
Now Bursting that Mythical Timeline.
I had lost all that weight (65lbs) by eating 600-700 calories a day for 3-4 months. Counting calories like nobodies business. I still remember that diet, Tofu shake for Breakfast. 1 Plain Pita Bread, carrots and a Apple for Lunch. Tuna with Fat-free mayo and saltine crackers for a snack and a Grilled Chicken Sandwich from Burger King for Supper that my mom would pick up for me. Day in and day out and I worked out 3 HOURS a day. PS I still can’t eat wheat pita bread to this day.
It was hardly sustainable, but I was motivated by the compliments and attention I got from my parents. Who at that time were struggling with a failing marriage and upcoming divorce.
It was my way of controlling the world around me that was uncontrollable. Honestly all of my “weight loss successes” over the years mirrored that same model. When my own marriage was falling apart, when my Mother died. Etc. It would be a cycle of Loss, maintenance of exercise in between binges. This has been a hard pill to swallow and now relinquish the myth to my then reality.
But, FREEING! Freeing to know that there is so much more to ME than this and now having the time to focus on True Wellness. Finding room for much more in this Life than constant and controlled appearance based livelihood. This why through this journey I have kept on saying the work is only beginning. It’s not a quick fix and I’m so grateful for the first time to really realize that.
This week I also have decided to see my Therapist again. To share this journey with her. I realize my story needs some professional help going forward. And Thank you for coming along with me too.
Cynthia
See you here tomorrow ♥️.